Radio Ga Ga

I’ve used ‘Radio Ga Ga’ in the headline because as we all know, any radio story in a newspaper must have this as a headline. Today has been a very radio day. This is mainly because i’ve tried to simultaneously listen to five best station entries for a radio awards thing whilst trying to write XFM South Wales. This, i’ve discovered, is actually quite difficult, as you sort of have to try and concentrate on both.

XFM South Wales is GCap’s application for a new radio licence in South Wales. I have to put some sembalance of an argument why we should win, whilst other people with very different ideas do the same thing. The true answer is of course that there’s lots of stations that could quite happily launch in the region which I would imagine make choosing the winner fairly difficult. Having done lots of these things, mostly unsuccessfully, my benchmark for deciding whether i’ve done a good one is to see if someone else who’s also submitted an application has said they liked reading mine. And I believe them. It’s not much, but it works for me.

Oh, the other thing is to never listen to Jason, as he always puts whoever he’s talking into his top three… Jason – you are, of course, always in my top three.

Judging radio is quite difficult too. Everyone does it differently and they do things for very different reasons. I use what I call “the distracted entertainment factor”, if it both distracts and entertains without me looking at my stereo and thinking “fucking losers” then it must be quite good.

I heard quite a lot of good radio and quite a bit of bad radio. If anyone has stumbled across this website looking for tips about entering radio awards, here are my top three, no way connected to what i’ve just heard:

1. The best stations don’t win awards, the best entries do. So don’t make yours rubbish. I don’t know, or really care, about your radio station. I’m having to spend 90minutes listening to it now and i’m unlikely to read your website or care that Jeff and Clare were off that morning which is why the an-hilarious Breakfast benchmark ‘battle of the sexes’ didn’t work very well.

2. Speak like a regular person you moron. If in your day-to-day life you say to a friend “I had a ker-azy afternoon yesterday and standby i’ll tell you about it after we’ve caught up with the latest on the roads…” then you shouldn’t be allowed any friends, or let anywhere near the radio. If you just say it on the radio, well, you still shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a studio. Please just speak to me like a real person and I might even think you’re one of them too.

3. (this is pre-I’m a Celeb) Why would you play a Jason Donavon record in the middle of three-in-a-row without explaining why you just played it? Jason hasn’t been in the charts for about fifteen years, anyone who hears that song randomly just thinks “that’s a bit odd”. It does nothing for your positioning and makes everything you do sound weird.

Right, i’m now off to bed. I will probably dream about welsh transmission plans, alliterative unsigned bands and ten good reasons why an oldies station is clearly and absolutely not what South Wales needs…